I’m so thrilled to honor Brittany as another beautiful woman embracing motherhood and all that comes with it.  As all women that are a part of the Mothers of the Heart project, I welcome her with warm love and gracious hugs.  To read more about the Mothers of the Heart project, go here.

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Motherhood. It was always the one thing I desired and feared at the same time. I never realized how motherhood would change and shape me! My story of motherhood doesn’t begin the moment I saw those 2 lines; it began as a child with my relationship with my mother.

My mom was the hardest working person I ever knew. Being a single mother of two wasn’t easy, but she never EVER let that show! Not only did she work tirelessly to provide for my sister and me, she made it a point to always give us special one-on-one time with her every week. Sometimes these special nights were simply dinner and sometimes it was shopping and errands, but each week it was something I looked forward to.

I never knew how precious those moments alone with my mother were, until they were gone. When I was nine, my mother tragically lost her life due to domestic violence – something my sister and I witnessed personally.

That terrifying morning and the journey through my new future helped shape my path to motherhood. As I worked through the strong and varying emotions and began to accept my new chapter I began to look at all the things my mother did well. She was a hard worker and I never once doubted her work ethic; there wasn’t a moment I questioned her unconditional love for me. As far as my nine year old brain could tell, my mother was the absolute perfect mother there was. And I knew that one day I wanted my future children to view me in the same light.

But, I have to say, the moment my husband and I found out we were pregnant was not joyous. I literally bawled my eyes out in the bathroom! As much as I desired to be a mother, it was not in my plan yet! I wasn’t ready; I was far from perfect and my child would definitely see those imperfections. But all I saw was what was in front of me, not the entire path God had laid out.

See, God knew that finding out I was pregnant was the push I needed to work on things I had been struggling with since my mother’s death – overwhelming, and at times crippling, fear that often left me unable to leave my house.
The last thing I wanted was to pass on my issues and weaknesses to my now quickly growing child. Being pregnant helped me surrender my pride and admit that I needed help working through these issues.
And now, with my almost three year old son, I truly realize how amazing motherhood is. And I see my mother in a whole new light. I always saw my mother as perfect, but I now see her as super woman. And I know without any doubt, that even in those short nine years, she shaped me into the mother I am today.